Always
by Antha32
Summary: "Finn has and always will be with me." Annie's reflection on the Rebellion, her hope for a new rebirth, and her everlasting love for Finnick. Annie/Finnick. One/Shot. Post-Mockingjay.


It's numbing, at first. The moment they come to me with those looks of indifference that hide sympathy, I know what they are going to tell me. That he's dead, that my husband is dead, my husband, and that they are terribly sorry for my loss. It's a lie, though. They're sorry, but not terribly. Tomorrow, it will be another dead solider, another wife or mother or father in tears, and they will forget all about me and this person who was mine who is now gone from the world. They don't understand what has been lost. They don't understand that this funny, handsome, sometimes ridiculous but mostly scared and caring and compassionate boy who loved me of all people was gone. Dead. Never coming back. The tears stain my face at first, but eventually, I feel nothing. Finn, my Finn, is gone, his battered body lost in a ditch. I don't know what to feel. It's like the Games all over again, except this time, the boy who died wasn't a boy I hardly knew. It was the man who knew everything about me, who loved me and allowed me to love him back in every way I could, who was always there to catch me when I fell. Now, I find myself alone on the ground, broken, wishing that I had not let him go with Coin's army or had married him years before instead of just weeks. But more than anything, I know that I miss him.

I'm silent for days, lying in bed, getting up only for a glass of water or to use the restroom. I cannot focus on anything but Finnick and how he is dead and I am alone. Eventually, my door opens, revealing three women. Johanna Mason, who pulls me from bed and makes me stand up. A woman I know but hardly recognize who pulls a cloth around my shoulders. Finally, a young, innocent looking girl who takes my hand gently and smiles sadly up at me. Primrose Everdeen.

They walk me around District 13, the three silently pulling me along. I hardly realize the hallways that fly by, but before I know it, we stand in front of the hospital wing. They guide me inside and sit me on a bed, and the third woman who I now see as Katniss Everdeen's mother looks me over and then talks to the other two. A plate of food is placed in front of me. I just stare at it. Mrs. Everdeen brushes my hair back and feels my forehead. She checks my temperature and fidgets with a chuff on my arm. She instructs a doctor who listens to my stomach and consults with him about me. I really could care less, so I hardly listen to them, until I hear Johanna add in,

"Are you sure?"

I looked up at this, as did the doctor and Primrose. Mrs. Everdeen nodded at Johanna.

"Trust me, I've delivered enough babies to know when a girl is with child."

With child. Babies delivered. She means me. I'm pregnant with Finnick's baby.

Suddenly, the whole situation changes for me. I finally see Finnick and why he did not die in vain. He joined this rebellion in the first place for a hope of a happier and peaceful future with our future family and me. He did it for me, for us, and then I realize that there is no way we cannot win this war. We will have victory, and I will keep on living in the hope that my child, our baby, will be able to grow up without fearing their life or living without the person they love. I will keep strong as much as it hurts so this one memory, this beautiful thing Finnick left me, will not be gone too.

I begin to eat. I start to talk again. I try to heal. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but I do it anyway. Some days are good, some days are bad. Most days, I don't want to get out of bed, but eventually I remember Finnick and the way he used to make me smile, and I feel a flutter from my child in my body that reminds me of what I'm doing, and I get up. Things change, things don't. The rebellion ends with Katniss Everdeen's shocking stunt that I know Finn would have loved, and there is finally some peace in life. I'm sent back to District 4, but before doing so, I am giving a goodbye from Johanna, a hug from Peeta, and a promise from both to visit me when the baby is born. I give Johanna a smile. I tell Peeta to hug Katniss for me. Mrs. Everdeen follows me to 4, and I understand why. For her to heal from the death of her child, she needs to be away. For me to heal from the death of my husband, I need to be near the place where I know he loved best. In the end, it works out for us both. We have each other to be with.

I still miss him everyday, and always will. I force myself to not think of how he died, but of how he lived. I twirl my wedding ring around my hand and smile at the memories it brings of our child and teenage years together and the memories that where full of fear that we got through together. I love him and always will love him. He's my Finn, gone or not gone, here or not, and I love him more than anyone.

The day my son is born is a day that Finn would have loved. The sky is a perfect blue and the climate is just warm enough to swim in the ocean. I know he would have just been giddy with joy about this child of ours. I know he would have kissed me and given me that smile that just makes me melt. Though he not there, I act as he is, because in some ways, Finn has and always will be with me.

Mrs. Everdeen places the baby in my arms, and I imagine that Finn is standing behind me, looking down at this miracle we have made. He is tiny, with my dark hair and button nose but with his eyes, Finn's beautiful blue eyes, and I know then that he will have Finn's laugh and tall body and most importantly, his smile. This baby is worth it all, and even though Finn is gone, I will have his love be reborn in our little boy.

Mrs. Everdeen asks for a name for the baby, but we both know what it will be before I even open my mouth.

_**A/N: I'm very proud of the work I did on this story. I really hope you enjoyed reading it as I did writing it. **_


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